Now Only

I dread the animals that are close to me

My soul longs for anonymity

All my turrets are slurry on the shore

Handles rattle on deadlocked doors

Core hard with membrane jellied

Scales black with my beet red belly

My hedgehog depends on the sad song

You’re bleating —

What went wrong when quills thronged the bed

You were seeding.

To the swine we pour our pearls and red wine

Cast our sins off the cliffs and turn our soul to the divine

The brine grows, the monkey crows,

What loves goes and we dodge

Time’s blows that mean to kill us,

Close our eyes and bite down on the lime in hopes it fills us.

Hindsight brings light on the inevitable catastrophe

But I prefer the illusion of autonomy

So now only.