Jesus Came to My Birthday Party

Salty rims and too-warm wine

it took me two minutes to do my makeup in the rear vision mirror

hands trembling like stuck cicadas

as they slide closer to my knees

i’m so late,


Unshackled, undone

the nail in the coffin of my aborted marriage

a life in ruins

and I’m high on adrenaline

how far can I take this?

Pour me another,

and I’m losing grip

on the mess I’ve left,

the screaming mouths

a broken home, gasping bed sheets

that were so recently filled

spilling with our familial warmth

too warm, too much flesh

breeding maggots in the road kill of our silences

Tell me I’m pretty

let your hands run

in the kaleidoscopic claustrophobia

of this celebration hall

Here is my youth

in the flat of my palm

the stretch of my skin towards your shoes

Floating, free

I’m sea-green and sinking

Can you see the way

the floodlights catch ahold of every swollen drop,

the underside of every gum leaf

silver and shivering

I’ve lost it all,

but I’m finding you in every drag

Unencumbered, skyward

the wet grass

soaking into my underwear

Is it your arms I can see extended towards me?

your chest

a sun-warmed rock

your elbows sturdy

as I

let go

Published by chloeroselilly

Samples of my poetry, fiction and personal essays in amongst real life

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