Sunlight

Am I going mad?

Or is it this deepening fog

That’s left me just a slice of an unsmudged person

Pillars, towers, a fortress of fungi have filled the space between my ears

And like a malfunctioning VCR I spit out the same words ad infinitum 

‘No!’ ‘Stop!’ ‘Come here!’ ‘Eat your dinner!’

My teeth grinding, pupils swimming on this endless bad trip 

Anxiety and sleep deprivation, like a virgin user this shimmering, gelatinous wall passes over me

I shiver in that peaking instant, my eyes fixed on a yellow bar of venetian light

Hazel-green ringed in red

Fingers tipped in sticky yolk,

My body creaks and spills from its cordless robe,

A collar of fingerprinted vegemite

I am Gulliver trapped and pinned

Swaying under the arms and legs of tiny people conquering me like a mountain

Pulling skin and plucking hairs 

Sampling a smorgasbord of human tortures

The sludge of dormant fury grows hot in my capillaries 

Close.your.eyes.

(Can I ever close my eyes?)

Flurries of dust catch fire 

Paint flakes off in sheets 

The light never stops fucking streaming 

Published by chloeroselilly

Samples of my poetry, fiction and personal essays in amongst real life

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